I remember a day when I was probably about six years old, the same precious age as my daughter, it was a summer day, I know that because Vera Judd, our land lady that I just adored and lived above us was outside doing yard work in her floral-over-sized-thin-cotton dress and I was gazing up at the clouds cross-legged on little bank on the side of our house, thinking am I awake, am I dreaming, how would I ever know, how does one ever really know?   This is one of my first memories from that time in my life, a memory that wasn't conjured by a photo, but a real memory that I held onto all by its self.

Memories are such a strange thing, aren't they? I wonder why this certain memory has stuck with me and not another that of course I cannot remember. Why is it that some come to mind over and over again and others maybe only once until they get lost among the shuffle of memories?  Then there are those that you wonder if it was a memory or a dream.  Or even more frustrating, when someone you know has a memory that should share also have as your own, but you cannot recall it at all.  Or those that become so very much more valuable, knowing they are all that is left of something or someone.    As I sit here in the silence of the night there are so many memories racing through my mind, so many from just tonight alone that I try to sort out and hope to keep tucked away for later, and just a few from a time ago that mostly have been forgotten except for a few moments here, that I pull them back to now.   

I love to sit over a cup of tea or a glass of wine and see just what memories come to mind, this is what comes to me now, it is a somewhat fragmented memory, but a memory still, of me being at my grandma's house when I was very young.  In the kitchen was a huge metal tub and water on the stove was being heated to fill the tub for a bath that I was going to take...right there in the kitchen.  Going to my grandma's house was always something I enjoyed, it was so different than my house, and for awhile she lived in a "rustic" style house on a back dirt road, without a indoor bathroom and with goats and chickens roaming freely outside.  I wish I could go back into that memory for awhile and just see what it feels like to be there, to be standing in a place that now might not even exist.  Why this memory?  What brought it about?  And what about you, what memories are surfacing?

Every day seems to comes with new memories being made, so many that I want to hold onto so tightly. Having children has made me want to remember these times even more, trying to hold on to so much and sometimes just the littlest things like how they smell at night when they are fast asleep, as I sneak in to their rooms just to touch their small little hands, with their small little fingers, as I nuzzle up to them for a moment or more, breathing them in, reminding me again how lucky I am. I wonder what memories they will keep from this time of their lives, will they remember living in this house, will they remember what it feels like to be young and carefree, what will they want to hold on to? 

How lucky and how grateful I am to have the memories I do. I wouldn't trade them for anything, the good and the bad, with more to come and more to go, never knowing what memory will come and when. I love when a memory comes to mind and brings with it an internal happiness that ejects a smile that you cannot hide, oh those are the best!      Then there are the bad memories that we wish that at times we could erase... like in Eternal Sunshine for the spotless mind.   But would you?  Would you erase times in your life if it meant erasing the bad, but also the good that came at that time?    Maybe I am naive or wishful in thinking that there has to be something good that comes from a bad memory, but we are all different and how I feel isn't always how you may feel.  Nonetheless, it's a time of year when memories of all those we love and have loved come to mind and heart...a time for reaching out and sharing with those we haven't thought about in awhile or with those we just saw a second ago, still reaching out just to let them know we care.    So here I am to say I care, I care about you, all of you, even if I don't know you well, I do care and someday maybe we will share a memory or two or more together, if we haven't already.

this is for you,   In my life...   and this...  with a little help from my friends.   

Comments

[anna maria]

Of all the songs there are, those two can bring on oceans of memories for me. I clicked on the links and have been on Joe Cocker videos for the past hour! Thank you for bringing back the memories.
Your words are beautiful and I happened to read them just minutes after finishing a short story by James Joyce called The Dead, much about memories and their power.

[Cindy Dean]

I would not erase all the bad memories from my life, because how would I know how good I have it now and how much I have accomplished if I never failed, never had a broken heart, never felt disappointed, never been lied to etc. Life is good now...the past has made me who I am now. I am sure there will be more bumps in the road but I look forward to them as reminders of how good things can be. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with us Misty. I for one am greatful. Merry Christmas!

[Regina]

Misty, you stir up so many thoughts and memories when I read your posts.
Childhood memory that is precious - the wind blowing through my hair, alone on our grassy lawn by the huge lilac bush out there in the country. It was dusk & the moon was low in the sky. I could fly. I knew I was flying as I skipped barefoot in the grass with the wind in my face.
Thanks for triggering that memory of feeling so free that I thought I was flying.
Until I was in kindergarten, my weekly bath was in a tub like you described (I just turned 50). What a luxury it was to have a bathtub with running water and a drain. No more hurried affair before the water got cold.
Blessings to you this Christmas season.

[Regina]

Misty- Your posts bring up so many thoughts and memories. A precious one from childhood was playing alone in our yard. It was dusk and the moon was low in the sky. I was barefoot in the grass by our big lilac bush. I was skipping with the wind in my face and I could fly. I knew I was flying. Oh, the freedom of the child's mind!
My weekly baths were taken in a tub like described until I reached kindergarten when our house was modernized with a bathroom. Oh, what a luxury to have running water and a drain. No more hurrying through the bath so the water would be warm enough for the next person...
BTW - this was the early 60's!
Blessings to you this Christmas Season!

[claire]

as i sit reading this, misty, i can see the sharpest image in my mind's eye of me sitting on my grandparents' back step shelling peas for sunday lunch...
my grandad, my hero, is sitting with me telling how he prepared the vegetable patch at the bottom of the garden, and planted the seeds under cane pyramids, how the growing plants entwined the canes producing beautiful fragrant flowers - my mother's favourite - and how they are the sweetest peas you could ever taste...
o my, what a blessed sunny memory for a cold, grey tuesday!! thank you for your precious, powerful words xx

[Shirley]

Your words took me , in an instant, back to my childhood vacation home of Belmead Virginia. Where the roads were not paved but instead were of sand and I think some pea pebbles and was humped high in the middle and sloped off on the sides Where the dew lay on the grass and caressed my feet as I flew across and off to an adventure. Where the oak tree sat with great arms out in the field before the lightening struck it and killed it years later, and then back into the house where the screen door slammed behind me as I had been warned about 1000 times before and the great (to me) galvinized tub sat up on the wood stove before my uncle hauled it down and I had my weekly bath with hand made soap. Wow, so many memories, so far back in the mist of time. Thank you , Misty , for taking me there, Thank you and Merry Christmas to you and those you love.
Xo Sassi

[John]

Such a beautiful post Misty. Just reading your words started my mind racing and flooding with memories...funny just reading the word "memory" conjures so many. The photos with the post are beautiful and warm as well. Happy Holidays to you all. Can't wait to see you at Artfest (and Asilomar--did I tell you?)

[Celeste]

Hi Misty,
I happened upon your blog yesterday...and have already added it to my favorites.

Your post today is so beautiful...and powerful...in a gentle sort of way. I love how your words have taken your readers, me included, back into those little corners of our minds.

I'm off to sip my tea, and visit some long ago places.

Bright Blessings,
Celeste

[suz]

oh where to begin...i have so many memories that i cherish for various reasons. i try to remember details...like at our wedding. i would just stand off to the side of things and take it all in...the loveliness of all of our families and friends together, the scent of the evening air, the way the grass felt beneathe my shoes...i kept reminding myself to note all those details to savor for later. thank you for allowing me a moment to conjure that up again. :)
ciao bella!

[daisies]

reading this brought up a memory of my grandmother's ranch house, the big kitchen with the old gas stove, the smell of baking buns and the box of comic books that i would curl up with while tracing the lines of the quilt, pulling at yarn, spending hours and hours laying on the emerald green carpet, drawing birds from a bird watching book as light filtered in sheer white curtains and cows moo'd in the distance as the river water rushed by. i miss that ranch house.

i wouldn't trade a memory, not a precious one ... the painful ones hold as much treasure for me as do the light ... thank you for this today :) xox

[michele]

misty~

i've been reading your blog for a year or so and loving it! your art is beautiful and the way you look and percieve the world magical. you remind me "to see". thank you.

i wish for you fairy tales and moonbeams and a beautiful merry christmas.

peace...

[Samm]

memories are so precious Misty friend. For me they are truly only ours and are a window into our souls. they are our history and our future and can be called upon to heal whenever we need it most. my most favourite memories though, are the spontaneous ones, the ones that pop out of nowhere when someone passes by with a long forgotten scent or when I take a sip of a special tea or drink - they are the best ones. I'm so looking forward to my future memories - the ones that I find myself dreaming about and hoping for. Best not to plan too much though. xoxo

[sepia art studio]

Remembering "lost" memories, moments from early years is a gift. There is memories i remember very vividly, then there is memories which i cherish with all my heart, and then there is those memories which pops in my mind just like that.

One of the dearest memories are from my grandmother. I remember when she was almost lost for the cancer, she still wanted to take me into a shop and bought an skirt for me. I was four in that time.
I have memories from the time i was three or so.

<3 Have a blessed Holiday time Misty...

delila

[Vickie]

In My Life is a precious song-how could anyone not get meaning from that? Memories are a wonderful experience and they come as they are meant to, the good and the bad. Yes, sometimes I think I would like to not have certain memories, but not having them would change everything and I really can't say I want to do that. Oh, there have been very bad times, but the good definitely outweighs it.

[Stephanie T.]

1960..I was 6yrs old and saw Mary Martin in Peter Pan. I'd waited for summer...for the perfect moment to fly. I KNEW I could. I took a long, running start and leaped off the side banks of a creek that ran behind our house. So So close! I almost did it...I just needed fairy dust...
To this day I keep a jar of fairy dust for my kidlings. It's magical.

[Shirani]

Misty,
the kids are looking so much older!! I hope you guys have a great holiday. Your house looks festive and lovely!! ~Shirani

[joan]

Dear Misty,
reading this post sent me spiraling back to being three years old and living for a summer in the Virginia countryside.
I vividly remember sitting barefoot on the worn wraparound porch of a house that seemed like a mansion to a little tiny child from a brick tenement flat in the city...
I would sit on that porch in the late afternoon sunshine in a little cotton summer dress that had been washed and worn so many times it was only the grace of God and the angels that kept it from disintegrating right off of my scorched little shoulders.
We's sit snapping the ends off of freshly picked green beans that covered the field across the yard for as far as the eye could see.
Me holding my little black baby doll whom I loved so dearly and my mother despised... and all I remember is the heat, and the warm summer breeze and the sunlight shimmering off of that heavy silver colander and the soft sounds of my Daddy's saxophone drifting through the open windows of rooms I had never yet seen...
thank you. thank you for the gift you possess of being able to transport our hearts and minds back to the memories we had so long ago forgotten...
I am off now to Sam's room before bed, to touch his cheek, stroke his fingers, and to drink in the angelic smell of his tiny sleeping body.
thank you....
xoxo joan

[shona]

another beautiful post, I would have to write for hours what is in my head, thanks for getting me thinking. Have a wonderful Christmas Misty!

[Eileen Weigand]

I happened by your blog and had to say, "hi." I love your artwork and photography- the artwork is inspiring me to try my hand at some collage- nervously... Memories- one makes me smile and slightly sad as I think about how I listened to "You are mY Family" by Dar Williams over and over again driving home from MD to NC when my first nephew was born. I am such a sappy auntie- I had to pull over a couple of times- shakes head and smiles.
Thanks for your beautiful posts- artwork, photography and words. ~*Eileen

[Linda Harre]

Misty.....what a beautiful post. So full of truth! My grown son just said to my last week-end something so much like what you have written. He wondered what his new (20 month old twins) will remember from their childhood. Could he make memories for them by introducing them to unique experiences. I told him I didn't think so. We collect our memories from the moments in between activities. We gather them from feelings and smiles that pass our way. I don't think you can plan those things.....they just happen:D Happy Holidays!

[Linda O'Neill]

Lovely photos and post, Misty. Wishing you the happiest of holidays!! xox

[Linni]

Oh...what a soft, kind, beautiful photo of you?! Happy memories! xx

[kate]

Ah memories - they are wondrous things. Like a balm on a cold winter's day.

[sandy]

Merrrrrrry CHristmas MIsty!!!!!

[lucinda]

welcome winter? silly misty. the calendar may tell us that winter is now officially here but here at my home in upstate new york winter has been present for some time now. i think my teakettle has been brewing non-stop since sometime in mid-november. i am a regular (but usually silent) reader who wanted to take a moment at the end of the year to say thankyou for all the inspriation you type up for us.