For Jenn

I wonder where you are at this moment?
I picture you laughing with someone,
someone that adores you more than you know,
just as I did.
you were so real, even then. 
remember that time you bought that used record at flip side, maybe?
side A was men without hats, the safety dance.
we ran home, to your house, and played it over and over again,
it spun around on your vintage record player while we danced and danced all afternoon,
it was a warm day, most likely the end of May, perhaps the first day of June.
you always had the coolest things,
I wasn't envious, I loved you more than that.
I could easily impress you and make you laugh, 
you did the same for me. 
you were the closest I had to what it must feel like to have a sister.
when I came to nyc you picked me up at grand central station,
I was so nervous, fast paced people everywhere.  I felt so still.
I brought homemade samosas, we feasted over conversation,
ate dinner outside at a wonderful middle eastern place on 1st street?
you slept 'til noon, I wide awake before 9 am, quietly starred at your walls and all the attached to them,
books on foreign languages,  travel guides for Poland, stacks of cd's, and photos from a life I didn't know. 
your life couldn't have been much more different than mine.
you, stomping around Bangladesh while I was giving birth to my first child.
our mothers compared notes here and there,
sometimes I think they missed our laughter more than we did. 
does she still make her mashed potatoes taste like a fine delicacy? 
I think you will be saddened to know my mom stopped using that detergent you loved,
things sure do change, don't they?!
I think of you every birthday, wondering what you would say if I called,
would it be strange to hear your voice?  or mine?  I have lost memory of what you sound like.
would there be too much silence, awkwardness?  who would say goodbye first? 
I am too stubborn to call. 
I can see you plucking away on your String bass, while I made a cacophony with my violin. 
we were so stupid, so silly, so innocent.  so naive.  so young.   
what's it been?  it feels like lifetimes.   
      can you imagine us now, acting like we used to.   
you in your china flats.

~

While digging around looking for  photos from my past I found so many dear memories, me with a belly as huge as can be, old boyfriends, a few torn in half (why?), furry friends that have past, Kevin with long hair and then none, photos of India and Jade that are almost too hard to look at, knowing how quickly they have grown in such a short time, photos of my parents that make me wish I could be with them right now, photos of myself that make me cringe, remember the 80's?  ugh. so many photos that bring back so many feelings, just like this one of a dear friend of mine...sigh..   Today is her birthday and I am thinking of her and looking forward to our lives colliding again this summer.  Happy Birthday! xo

Comments

[darlene]

this is so beautiful and took me back to my own memories of childhood, of the eighties, of saying good-bye and hello and dancing silly on green grass and in classrooms and lost and found friendships and beauty and the safety dance which i now have to go to youtube and listen to again, tee hee.

[Elaine Cooke]

Gotta love those cute kids in those puddles.They can't resist them. I know I couldn't when I was young. Elaine Cook

[kelly snelling]

don't be stubborn! call your friend. no matter the outcome i urge you to reach out to your past and bring it into your present. take the risk!

[kelly snelling]

what fun! i bet they were thrilled to jump in the puddles. those are the sorts of things i still remember from being a child. it is the sweet little moments like these that add up to a beautiful youth.

[kim]

sweet memories....sometimes that is the only thing that gets me through a crappy day...
thank~you for sharing.....
xoxoxox

[Jacky]

I love this post, very nostalgic...I hope you catch up with your friend this summer.

The pics of your children in the rain are great...what fun they were having. I can remember having that sort of unbridled fun.

[Linda O'Neill]

Very sweet post, Misty...and beautiful photos of your children in the rain!

[lk]

very tender, very real. xo