i am having a hard time finding my voice that used to be on this blog. the voice that once spoke of many things, from art, to my utmost feelings, to whatever came to mind. i've been thinking about how much my blog world has changed since i first started blogging in 2005. it has changed a lot, at least for me. so much has changed and yet so much remains the same, funny how life is like that. back then i feel that i was deeply searching for myself, for who i was and who i greatly wanted to be. and although that continues to be a constant search i don't feel as verbal about it as i did. i haven't consciously chosen to write less or share less, but i think the currents in one's life change, and mine have made me less open and verbally expressive for a period. in some ways i feel that my writing voice used to be stronger... or maybe not stronger, but more present. perhaps i am on a more silent search for who i am or who i strive to be. however, i do want to be more present here, more exposed in some ways, i want to get back to sharing my thoughts and ideas... my work. i want to use my voice of one kind or another.
i am realizing more and more that my words speak so much louder when i paint, or photograph rather than spoken with my tongue. it has never been a strong trait of mine to speak my heart out using my regular voice. i get all crackly sounding and my heart pounds so hard i think i might explode. over time it has eased a bit, i can make a phone call without hyperventilating or ask a stranger a question, i can even stand in front of lots of people and share how i paint, but i still feel so quiet when i am out of my element.
having children gives you a whole new perspective on finding your voice, on helping them find theirs. my voice to my own children i hope is clear, supportive, and always optimistic. somedays that is easier than others, but i try and keep trying. simply put & very similar to the words of rumi, i always seem to fall back on... "do what you love & love what you do".
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i am totally loving james blake. so much. listen. {and watch}
i am playing over here all month. i love this project! what a brilliant idea!
my heart goes out to all those in japan that are suffering so greatly. there are so many ways one can help those in need... using your own voice to send positive light & love, and sending donations to the red cross or unicef. i have donated a piece of art for an auction that will benefit those in need. i will let you know more about that when it comes to fruition.

if you haven't checked out this album from itunes please do. all proceeds go to japan.